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Many of the racist notions and opinions that may have otherwise seemed trivial carry far more weight in the presence of a non-White partner.

And such displays of ignorance, sadly, tend to become a frequent part of your interaction with the world as you move through it beside a person of color, including when dealing with family, loved ones, coworkers and authority figures. This same White curiosity will lead many to ask you some pretty ignorant questions about your partner so be prepared. Society fetishizes mixed babies, but does not treat mixed-race individuals well.

This can sometimes translate into a lack of even that racism exists and is experienced by others.

A romantic relationship is supposed to provide a safe space for individuals to express their feelings and come to terms with their life experiences.

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When White people find themselves in relationships with loving, caring partners who also happen to be Black or minority, but does not fit those often deeply internalized stereotypes, internal conflict can arise.

And sadly, this conflict is often resolved by creating an “exception” of a partner while holding on to the deeply ingrained, racist notions.

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For example, a man who seeks an Asian female partner because he believes in stereotypes of Asian domesticity and submissiveness is playing into these stereotypes, and thus fetishizing his partner.

(“He’s not your typical Black guy.”) That, of course, is very problematic.

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